There’s this one person we like to blame for every shortcoming, every failure, every regret, and all the other fiascoes in our lives.
Who? you might ask…
Ourselves! We blame ourselves, most of the time.
Self- worth is not something that others can give you or take away from you, it has to come from…you guessed it, YOU.
Other people or certain situations may have an influence on how you see yourself, but letting that shake your self-worth is completely in your hand.
If you feel good about yourself regardless of what goes around you, your whole outlook about your life changes significantly. You begin to thrive.
Not every single day is going to be in your favor, some days will be better than the others and some days will be…well, miserable.
And during those Not-So-Good days, it’s important to realize that your perception towards yourself should be nothing but positive.
Feeling insecure, incapable, and inadequate once in a while is part of being a human, it’s the ability to bounce back from such a mindset that makes all the difference.
So instead of being hard on yourself, here are a few ways you can deal with this situation and take actions that’ll get you out of a not-so-positive mindset to the one that is abundant in self-love.
Re-frame your perception about yourself
The things you achieve in life, the way you manage your relationships, how you operate your life, it is all a direct reflection of how you see yourself.
If you think you won’t be able to complete that 30-day vegan challenge you saw on YouTube, you probably won’t.
Maybe you’re not even surprised anymore because you’ve just accepted this is who you are and as a result, you’re not a fan of the person you’ve become.
And that needs to change!
If we were to describe ourselves in a mere 5 describing words/phrases, what would they be?
I’ll go first, mine are (as of writing this, these might change later, maybe…):
- Inclined to try new things/ experiences
- Don’t care about other’s opinion
- Serial procrastinator
Now you! List the first 5 that comes in your mind about yourself. GO!
Some experts say that a person’s self-worth can be assessed by the first five words they would choose to describe themselves.
Those 5 words is how YOU see YOURSELF.
If you came up with mostly negative things about yourself, you might want to re-frame the way you perceive yourself.
- If you lack confidence, it is because you constantly think you lack confidence.
- If you’re bad at habit formation, you probably have convinced yourself that you are.
This can only be changed if you shift the way you think about yourself. Instead of focusing on your shortfalls, count on what makes you great and special.
Wherever you shift your focus to, grows.
Focus on the great thing about you, they’ll flourish more!
Embrace your shortcomings too, work on them but don’t let that mess with your sanity. Learn to love yourself, the kind part, the weird part, the lazy part, the unmotivated part, the happy part, all of it!
“Learn to value yourself, and be your own source for happiness.”
Break the current cycle
Following a daily scheduled routine can take a toll on your mental health. If you’ve been waking up just to reiterate the same exact thing you’ve done the day before, life can get a little monotonous and uneventful.
And if you do it long enough, you will start having thoughts such as “What has my life become?” or “I live such an uninteresting life“, and this is how the journey of self-pity originates.
To make sure you don’t get to that point, break the cycles once in a while.
Even if you have a full-time job, rather than directly diving into the couch to watch Netflix after work: Go out and have a little campfire in your yard, play Jenga with your family, have a little get together with friends once in a while…anything that gets you out of the monotonousness.
Or you can always try things that makes you feel happy (mentioned below)
Trust me! It feels pointless until you’ve actually done it.
Indulge in Feel-Happy activities
If you’ve been feeling blue lately, chances are, you’re not getting desired results or life is going haywire.
Regardless of your situation, if you have a substantial amount of time, it is always a good idea to indulge yourself in activities that’ll uplift your overall mood.
Whenever I’m in a situation where everything seems to be chaotic and miserable, I usually cocoon myself in a blanket and watch my favorite movies/videos while munching on noodles.
Simple, yet an effective way to cope.
If you have something like that and have proven to take your mind off things, you should definitely try it.
Your’s might be different but here are some suggestions:
- Take a long nap, no alarms though.
- Read a book/ watch a good movie, a good positive movie
- Take a long stroll in nature/ spend time in nature.
- Cook/bake something you like
- Spend time with your closest friends
- Take some time off for self-care
- Finish a pending work (a game-changer for me) etc.
Why have I put “Finish pending work” on the list?
Here, I am referring “Work” to the things you have planned for your own well-being, not the company /corporation/shop you work at or even pending household work. They might be exercising, learning a new skill, starting a side hustle, anything…
Truth is: Inaction builds doubt, and when you put an end to inaction by finishing off the pending things, you once again feel like you have control in life.
And as a result, your confidence goes through the roof and makes you feel good about yourself.
As simple as that!
The long-term Game plan
If I am having a moment, a moment that is predominantly consumed by self-doubt, fear, sadness or mixture of all, one thing that helps me shake things off is the euphoric feeling of a much better future,
Where I visualize myself thriving in my later life, and think “This wouldn’t have been a possibility if I haven’t had gone through the struggles when I did”.
The struggles that I am feeling today, are the building blocks for a better tomorrow. And that is something to be happy about.
“Don’t be pushed by your struggles, let them lead you to your dreams“
Whatever is your current situation is, one thing which is for sure is that it is not permanent. So even if you’re back is against the wall, it is not permanent.
If something is bothering you mentally, ask yourself if this (whatever that’s bothering you) is gonna matter in:
If your answer is mostly “No”, then there’s no point in wasting another second to it.
Feeling dull at times is part of living, but that doesn’t mean it should keep you down for too long, you can always choose to shake things up and put efforts for your own well being.
So take it easy, breathe for a moment, don’t be hard on yourself, and put your self-worth way higher than any insecurity and doubt that comes.